I don’t think we can group all individuals in the same field into one category. However, given the recent exploits of both our Scottish national football players and their vastly over-paid counterparts south of the border, you would be forgiven for thinking that your average footballer, (who, more often than not is mediocre looking) is a vodka guzzling, Bentley driving, cretin with bad grammar.

I’m struggling to think of a famous clean-living footballer, apart from Jamie Redknapp? Even an IQ of 150 (making him eligble for MENSA) didn’t stop Frank Lampard being caught cheating on his fiancée – not once but twice.

I understand some managers wish to see their players ‘settled’ so that they can concentrate on what's happening on the pitch. But what’s the point in getting married if you are simply going to stray in later life? I don’t blame them, I don't think anyone can possibly be of sound mind to make a decision on marriage until they are at least 30! There’s too many fish in the sea, especially if you are wielding a Rolex as bait...

John Terry did appear to be dipping his rod in a small Surrey pond, but then elite athletes live in a milieu that can seem promiscuous, but is also rather cliquey. Many grow up with a suspicion of outsiders that sees them drawn to relationships within an established circle. I can see how a pair of pneumatic breasts, a glowing tan, and lustrous extensions that could cause whiplash if a girl turned around too quickly, can bewitch a hapless young sportsman. But they shouldn't marry them! The problem is that there’s a demand for stories of footballer infidelity, but on the continent they aren’t met with the same moral outrage. Marriage in the UK, it would seem, is still a sacred vow.

Ever since Tanya Turner erupted on our screens in Footballer’s Wives, flashing her French manicured talons and snarling, “Just a friendly, you go anywhere near my husband and it’ll take more than Botox to sort your face out!”, I think we've all become more than fascinated with the rise of the WAG culture.

I’d love a life where I could have new shoes on a weekly basis and enough Champagne to drown myself. However, there does seem to be quite a lot of heartache and humiliation that seems endemic to the role. Perhaps the obligatory oversized sunglasses are to hide the tears of the pretty girls who wear them. I hear Toni Terry doormats go into production soon…

Due to the money surrounding the beautiful game, it’s only natural that many footballers are going to enjoy a privileged lifestyle (fresh white trainers on a daily basis). And I have no doubt that for some of them, sometimes signed to clubs from the age of eight, due to a lack of focus on formal education, they may end up a little less worldly wise and mature than other men their age.

But I wholeheartedly agree with Harry Redknapp who said, “There has to be standards. I think with young footballers, they are role models – they have to set the right examples. Kids look up to them, they get very well paid to be in the public eye." Personally, I'd like to see a little more charity and a little less vulgarity surrounding the SPL and The Premier League. Players must be aware that in the wake of the Terry and Cole scandals, the tone has been set for people to delve into the personal lives of footballers like never before. Let’s hope the British footballers involved in the World Cup have the sense to concentrate on their own legs, and not those encased in Louboutins.

*The No.1 Bitch would like to point out that only one footballer was kissed for research purposes in the article.