Just good friends?

Male/female friendships; perfectly possible or a recipe for a drunken fumbling disaster?

It’s been over 20 years since Billy Crystal famously declared, in the film When Harry Met Sally, that friendship between men and women was doomed because “the sex thing keeps getting in the way”. Society has long been fascinated with whether or not men and women can be friends and almost everyone claims to have an opinion. However, as with most matters of the heart, there are no straight answers.

Have you ever looked at a male friend’s broad shoulders, and thought, ‘I wonder what they would feel like with my arms draped seductively around them?’ Or, perhaps during a particularly amusing/meaningful/slightly inebriated conversation your gaze has suddenly inexplicably locked on your platonic friend’s face, and a whispery voice inside you has suggested that you might actually have to fight an inextricable urge to violently kiss him immediately? Of course we are human beings – capable of self-control, of not acting on our every animalistic urge and impulse. But, I always think that if people fancy each other even a tiny bit, then excuses can easily be found to drink enough alcohol to test the boundaries of their alleged friendship. Vodka anyone?

Truthfully, I think it is possible to genuinely just be friends with a member of the opposite sex. (As long as they aren’t too hot obviously.) A close male friend admitted to me that, because men often think with their nether regions rather than their brains, it’s difficult to remain friends with a girl without a hazy red mist clouding their vision. Especially when a female friend is looking particularly unself-consciously enticing. He also went on to claim that if a male ‘friend’ hasn’t had any steamy thoughts about you then there is something structurally wrong with his heterosexual DNA – perhaps a hormonal deficiency of some description? Yes, you are always going to find other men and women attractive but it’s whether or not you want to cross the mental boundaries of your friendship. It could result in a Tiffany’s engagement ring but it could also result in you wishing that the ground would open up after your nightmarishly awkward moment of clashing teeth. 

What about your boyfriend’s female friends? Are you the type of female who, like a very beautiful and self-assured friend of mine, declares “He’s got me, his mum and his sister. That’s more than enough”. Or, are you of the opinion that jealousy only hurts the person that’s jealous and are more than happy for your boyfriend to spend quality time with his comely female buddies? Are my gorgeous friend’s thoughts evidence of some chronic insecurity or is it just good business practice to eradicate temptation from a relationship wherever possible? At what point does becoming emotionally involved with someone else constitute infidelity?

We all love a happy ending. Look at the irony of Friends where two thirds of the actors end up with each other in a schmaltzy Man And Woman Are Together So Everything’s Fine scenario. It’s probably because women have that in-built desire for romance and a fairytale ending that we end up occasionally smiling sweetly and gazing indulgently at our male friends. Whilst they try to work out whether we’re wearing pants or not.

What’s Hot
• Its been a byword for luxurious quality since 1837 and I want a piece of it! Yes, Hermès is only getting more chic with age. Hermès beautifully printed scarves and intricately detailed bangles are on my wish list to up my festival fashion ante in 2011. www.hermes.com

• The new Converse: Superga has made a comeback, their 2750 model with a thick white sole has been worn by everyone lately and has been a staple in the wardrobe of chic Italian ladies in dress-down mode for a century.  www.superga.co.uk

What’s Not
• Would you pay £150 for a snakeskin manicure? Manicurist Terri Silacci believes that snakeskin nails are the next big thing. The two-and-a-half hours(!!) of nail art requires her to cut pieces of snakeskin to perfectly fit each nail. Ssstylish? I'll stick to my Chanel nail polish thanks!

• I don’t want a random holidaymaker to see my less than perfect bits so I don’t see Britain’s first naturist spa hotel, which recently opened in Birmingham, making any Condé Nast Traveller ‘must-visit’ lists any time soon. However, it’s a sociable hotel, says owner Tim Higgs, where guests meet to read, chatter or play board games. Naked. www.cloverspa.eu

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