Jam and Jerusalem....and Marmalade Forever
Woman’s Institute pursuits have always fascinated me, ever since I first heard the intriguing words “Knitting Bee” as a very young child. You can imagine my disappointment when I later discovered this has nothing to do with our insect friends! The WI champion such activities, but what about out with their sanctum, at what age is it okay to make jam without being given an ...

Columnist 2
Peter-Pan Syndrome
“Why do you look like that?” he peered at me nervously. “Like what?” “Like, all crazy and stuff” He looked even more worried and took a step back. Ignoring him, I went to the bathroom and studied myself in the mirror. He was right I looked ‘crazy and stuff’. My eyes were wild and rimmed with smudged black eyeliner. A fake eyelash, whose sole purpose in life had been to give me glamorous ...

Columnist 3
Rockin’ the Suburbs
When we packed up our belongings and moved to the suburbs, I thought the journey ended with unloading the van and raising a toast to our new home. I didn't realise that the real journey was just beginning. We hadn't moved far geographically but, in terms of lifestyle, we were a million miles from home. I'm not quite ready to become a soccer mom (or should that be a...

Offshore Worker's WAG
The Intermittent Husband
Another social occasion, another appearance by me trying to single handedly manage my almost-three-year-old, his constant chatter, my suitcase sized bag, food for me, food for him, conversation with the adults around me and the ringing phone in my pocket. “Is he away again?” asks a friend’s husband, “yes, went up to Aberdeen yesterday, helicopter this morning” comes my reply. You see...

SORRY...My kids really are better (behaved) than yours!
Hand theatrically on hip and swirling chewing gum, she growled, “So you’re kids are perfect, huh?” “No kids are perfect,” I tried to reason, to no avail. More finger pointing and ranting took place before she finally ended her tirade and retreated. I sat down and hid behind my newspaper – not because I was frightened, although she was sporting some scary tattoos – but because I was ...

(TEE) TOTALLY SOBER

A BATTLE with booze, it wasn’t. But my relationship with alcohol – like the one I had with an ex-boyfriend – was turbulent. When it came to booze, I agreed with it but it almost certainly did not agree with me in return. Yet since my teenage years I rather foolishly thought alcohol was my friend. To me, drink was a little chum sitting on my shoulder, one who accompanied me to each and every party, social ...

My property addiction torment: confessions of a reformed house-aholic…
My name is Julianne and I’m a house-aholic. It’s been 3 hours since my last hit. It’s shameful and slightly embarrassing, and certainly not how I really want to be introduced to a group of new people – but read on and you may understand – even identify with my condition. Over the past few weeks and months I’ve become addicted to property ...

All Hail the Great Internet Brain...A Junk Mail Tale
After a long battle with the impressively stubborn procrastinator within me, I recently bit the bullet, dusted off the laptop and toppled myself screaming into the icy waters of the world of online blogging. I am quite a hypocrite when it comes to technology, as I certainly do not want to live without my iPod, computer or Android phone. However, as soon as any of these appliances demand...

Since when did Christmas get so stressful?
The nights, like Hollyoaks' plotlines and Kylie's golden locks, are getting darker, and it's time to wear your gingerbread man onesie and furry snowman slippers with defiance and pride, ignore the men who are pointing and laughing (they're just jealous). If you prefer hammocks to electric blankets, and flip flops to snow boots, this time of year will have you grumbling into your thermals and wistfully...